FEAR

QUESTION:

I’m working in the field of law, which is full of uncertainties in terms of its interpretation and the way it should be applied in practice. Thus, when it comes to my clients’ situations, there is often many ambiguous issues and accompanying risks involved. Consequently, I often find myself worried on whether the advice I have given or project work I have implemented was thorough enough, and if there were any issues which have been overlooked. When it comes to my personal situation, I find this fear as one of the most disturbing and destructive emotions, often mixed with a feeling of anxiety, that makes the mind so unsettled.

ANSWER:

Our mind is supposed to be our servant; it is an instrument we use, just like we use our feet for walking. We have control of our feet – they don’t just start walking randomly all around. But, the mind is absolutely volatile. It is running here and there, worrying about this or that. Anyone who has some material possession, they are always in fear. Somebody becomes president, then they fear that they are going to lose next time. Fear is always there in material life. You have power, and you have fear of losing it. Mostly the suffering is from fear of losing what you have in the future. However, the future does not exist now, and worrying about it does not change what will happen in the future. Worrying will also not change the actions you have already done in the past. Worrying only robs you of the opportunity to experience the present moment, which is where stillness exists. Peace of mind can be achieved if you do not think that you are the doer of your actions. The best practice is to do your duty, do your job to the best of your ability, and then to surrender to whatever result may come. Do not worry about if you will please or displease your client, or if you were not thorough enough. Trust that you did your best, given the situation. Let the harmony you see in nature be your guide. Look at the sun – do you think it worries each day, if it spread its rays enough?  The sun just moves gracefully through the sky, doing its duty, staying present in each moment as it shines down on us. And, if the clouds come, the sun still does its best to touch us with its rays, but it does not worry on the days that it did not reach us. It just shows up, does its duty, and accepts whatever comes. Trust that whatever result comes your way, is the perfect result. Even if you get sued, or worse, then this result provides you with an opportunity to learn something about yourself, and to grow spiritually.

PRACTICAL EXERCISE:

You may have heard some of the above advice given before. Even if it is new to you, you probably find it easy to understand. However, putting it into practice is a different story. And, that is what Vedic Psychology is all about. The tricky mind will work harder to control you, the more you try to control it. Your fears and doubts about your work will become even stronger, as you try to ignore your worries, and to stay in the present moment. It is like a two-year old, when you try to enforce a rule, such as that they cannot have any more sweets. They will cry louder and louder and become more and more demanding, trying anything to disturb you enough that you will give them that sweet. With true change in the mind, this “worse before better,” behavior often occurs. So, knowing this pattern in the mind, you can use your Buddhi, or intelligence, to not give in to your incessant worries and fears that the mind will be serving up at an increased rate and intensity, to bring you down.

Additionally, here is one practical exercise that may be useful in managing the worrying, fearful mind:

Worst Case Scenario

Write out on a piece of paper, your worst fear – the fear that constantly is plaguing you. Often times we are so afraid of our worst fear, that we do not look at it clearly and deeply, because we feel that it is too overwhelming, and that it may get even bigger if we look. So we usually try to avoid it altogether. However, the act of embracing your fear, is where the healing occurs. By looking at your fear squarely in the eye, and letting yourself truly feel the feelings associated with it, you can conquer your fear.  Write out all of the details that have been cycling in your head about your biggest worries and fears. For example: because you were not thorough enough with your work, you made some big mistake, and you are going to get sued, and have to stop practicing law, and then you can’t support your family and you will let them down and feel like a failure as a husband and father. Focus your writings on your feelings about this fear. Not your thoughts, the constant storyline going on in your head…not that, but just your raw feelings (for ex: depressed, scared, terrified, incompetent, unworthy, angry, frustrated, irritated, etc). Write why you think you have these feelings, and go as deeply as you can to the root of why this feeling is there?  Where does it come from?

Once you have written about your worst fear, then go sit and look at Krishna’s picture or deity.  Shut your eyes, and take 3 deep breaths from your belly. Relax and open your eyes. Read what you wrote about your fears aloud to Sri Krishna. Let yourself feel His presence as you share your fears and worries. Let Him be with you. Let your overwhelming feelings out in whatever way they need to come. Give yourself permission to let go and cry or sob, or shake, or whatever you need to to do to acknowledge and let these emotions move out of your mind and body. When you have finished, read the letter aloud to Krishna, a second time, as slowly as you possibly can. After each sentence, look up from your words and stop. Feel what is there. See if you can feel His energy with you. See if you can feel what His response would be to you?  What advice would Krishna give to you? What would He say to comfort you? Let your mind be quiet, and write down what you feel from Krishna. Take His words with you in your pocket, and look at them each time those pesky worries and fears come again. Each time you look at the paper, you will create a new positive impression in the mind, that will gradually replace the worries or fears.

 

 If you have a question about a personal or relationship issue, and you would like Babaji and Joshika’s Vedic Psychology response in this Q&A section, please email your question to Joshika at joshika@jiva.org.